Gone girl. (•_•)!...

I'm all grown. Yes, I really am..
It took me a while to come to terms with that fact or accept that I am no longer who I used to be and I've come a long way from the little girl I used to be. I tried so hard to refuse to give myself credit and I tried just as hard not to talk to people about my deepest hurt, I have just been so scared for so long. All I wanted was to find that 1 great friend and cheer to forever ( how is that working out for you if you ever tried it?)
When I hold something / someone, i hold them so tight that when they go i feel like they take a part of me, and I always want to tell myself that they'll never go ( so maybe it took a while to come to terms with that also or maybe the reality of it is way too tasky). Maybe sometimes it's okay to let some people go, you'll never know if it is going to make you stand stronger. I finally realise that I'll have to save ME in the end.
BACK TO THE REAL WORLD

Bout that my friend thingy, we're really good ( like casual good). Actually she did visit today and said she wanted to clarify things and because too many people have been asking if we're OK she came to confirm if we're good. (That's great news right?, except that she didn't come because she missed her buddy or because things have been quite off lately and she just really wanted to make sure I was good. NO. She came because too many people have been asking questions and she wanted to male sure she didn't have any beef with anyone before the end of the semester. WOW! So much for been friends huh?). Anyways, it did make me understand a lot of things better and truth is I'm not holding a pin against her. So if you're ever at this end, you're strong even on your own and it's a phase, you'll pass, don't blame yourself or beat yourself up over nothing, don't drive yourself insane.  YOU'LL DO JUST GREAT. ( I promise ).. that's why sometimes, I like the story better in my head. ( you can't exactly blame me for that, can you??)
I finally woke up and i am so smelling the coffee. So let's have a toast, to the tears on my face as I finally let go (Cheers!!)

Dear God!

So maybe I'm a little bit ruffled.
My exams are starting tomorrow and all hand's are on deck. That's why I've been so not unbusy (if there's a word like that).
Most times when getting really acquainted with people I try as much as possible to hold back a lot cuz I wouldn't wanna be so into it for security reasons tho, but there's always some few occasions.
So there's my friend who we are practically always together, in class and out of it. ( if I'm in class before her, people go like where's she?).

This hour

.. Sometimes I just wanna go through the motions. Sometimes I pray that I'm doing the right thing. But so much is happening in my life and I feel like I'm void of who to talk to. Yeah I have friends (don't think I'm lonely) but i'ont want someone who will go 50 shades of judgmental on me. 

First, my weekend was really cool,  I tried settling an issue with another

The other day

I was on a bike and the feel of the wind on my face was like no other.
It all just came back... I felt really lonely, like really lonely. (You know that lonely feeling even when you are in the midst of a crowd). Like nobody was really connecting to a part of me.. (Can't explain it tho)
Went to class though, but it felt worse. I left the house and went to see my best friend of all time from way back.

We talked about the old times and laughed alot (he always has that effect of me, he snaps me out of any bad mood, no matter how sour or deep or bad.

Yeah Right!

So, it didn't work as we planned but exactly as I planned..
      What she wanted me to do was strip him off his clothes so she soaks it and pour the water on him sha and insult him and all.I really didn't. I'm not a fan of punishing people or judging people on their wrongs. Yes (him no try at all) but I believe he has a side to the story and everyone should be given a chance. So she walked in on us as we planned BUT when she started all the plenty shout and all, I called them down and told them I agreed to the plan so they could settle all of their plenty scores and it worked perfectly (I swear it wasn't easy o)

Sunday huh

How was church, hope you had fun cuz I certainly did, and
yes I am a church gurl. (Can't believe you had to ask. Or
maybe not).
Anyways, I gave a special ministration today, its like the
first time ever. (So yeah, its kind of a big deal). Turned out
nice tho.
Just about to carry on with my day.

So I promised to give u one special gist bah? Here is it.
I'm suppose to pretend to like the guy that twisted my
friends heart, (with the thought that - if he agrees with it,
he's worse that we actually thought he was ). He actually
believes already sha (stupid, I know right). His ex

Finally

I really don't know where to start from, but of course an apology is always a good start. I'm really sorry I just bailed out on you guys.
So one quick jist about what's happening.. I'm not exactly a die hard feminist but I refuse to clap for a guy treating any girl like crap not to talk of my own friend....
  ( Screaming... MY VERY OWN BEST FRIEND).
Recap - Here's what happened. They've been dating for a while now and after sometime and plenty happenings. She went to see him unannounced and she met a girl in bed with him ( you know the kind you watch in a Nigerian movie, only this time it's for real), and he so had the guts to introduce them and called the other lady "baby" meet "my friend's name", hr was speechless but say is she stopped to say hello